Today marks my campaign against all things tall (no offense to Paul and Zara). Tall objects drop things on you. Ever since moving to Yosemite, I have noticed a trend of objects dropping from above with great force causing me to shout explitives in all directuions. Most often than not, the object hits nothing important (ie:head), but the astonishing truth is that this series of events offer up a ghastly warning from the greater gods of above. Tall gods that hate all things shorter than them. Punk asses.
A pinecone forced to reckon with gravitational force meets an unhealthy match with the ground. The ground is tough though. While the pinecone smashes on the ground, your head will surely suffer a more unfortunate fate. Some of those pinecones are pretty big, nevermind entire falling branches, but those come with a bit more warning: *CRACK* *THUD*
Sometimes objects from above offer more catastrophic results. Never forget awakening at 7am last October to watch the side of a mountain crashing down on Curry Village. Yikes.
Right now the gods of tall are having a bit too much fun at unsuspecting passerby's expense. After three days of snow and accumulation on branches of tall trees, the sun has come out to create a melting effect to which, without warning, an enormous quantity of water and ice plunge from the branches and onto innocent civillians, soaking them in icy coldness from head to toe.
I for one am not amused.
I mean I was until I became a victim an hour ago.
Join my fight for the leveling of tall objects everywhere. With a little luck and perseverence, we'll need only worry about man-eating sinkholes in the near future.
-LJ out