Godlike powered gecko machine

Sometimes when I am at work and the door is locked for various undisclosed reasons, people take it upon themselves to try with little achievment to open the door. When that usually fails for them, they then proceed to knock on the door and make little tunnels with their little hands for their stupid faces to peer in and look at me. It reminds me of when I'm at the reptile exhibit in the zoo and I knock on the glass of the gecko enclosure and press my oily face against said glass in the hopes that I will arouse any inkling of interest in me that the gecko should obviously have. I now fully believe that geckos control the karma of simple manners. But what does a gecko know? That's why we are not punished for forgetting to put our napkins in our laps at supper time, or not holding the door for legless people. When it comes to unwanted people desiring to crowd our space during alone time however, they have our asses covered.

Yes to Yetis

Post by Laura Jackson (who is cool).
Pretty much a pointless day. After a week or so of mad sleep deprivation, I slept for, I think, 15 or 16 hours. The final count is unclear. But I do feel much better. But also, I can't sleep now. Nor have I really tried to. I should give it a go.
Zara was on top of the boot room yesterday and she told me not to push her down. I decided not to push her as per her request. But I did not agree not to lasso her down. I made a Zara shaped head out of sticks and rocks outside of our wob for practical purposes. Improving drastically every day. Now I just have to figure a way to lure her back on top of the boot room. I'll tell her there is gold and/or lucky charms up there. Damn. I forgot she reads and co-hosts this blog. I'll have to bless it now with my anti-zara reading the blog charm. Or figure a different idea and post it in my private diary. Haha!
Don't worry Zara, I won't use razor wire. I love you too much to cut you in half!
I heard that yetis are summoned in the new Mummy movie (Brendan Frasier, check him out!!) I wonder if it was Shakira's hips that did it?

She will cap you. That's why Sherman disappeared. Shhhh.

She will cap you. That's why Sherman disappeared. Shhhh.

Don't nobody touch my crack, yo.

and we all fall down

Q: Why did I wake up with the word THUGLIFE tattooed on my belly this morning?

A. Prison tats, duh.
B. Gang Initiation.
C. Dedicating my life to the Tupac Cult.
D. Never trust me with booze and a marker.

Laura got Sherman the Shocktopus. On her lower back. He looks surprised. He touches her crack.

3 things make me happy.

Laura, love ya but you're crazy. I also read the BBC article and I have been thinking of 3 things I'm thankful for every day and I am so happy that I am crying.

Today I am thankful for:
1. Paul saying, "You're so good at talking degrading, you should have a penis."
2. picturing Laura jumping up and down. Maybe she'll actually do it.
3. the Flight of the Conchords. Mmmmermaid...

I think tomorrow Ill write a Top Ten (Thousand) list of my favorite FotC quotes. Just kidding! They probably haven't even said Ten Thousand things! That's a lot to count!

"Yeah that's right, get out of here before I peel your beard off!"

Mutha' 'ucka. 'Uckin with my shi'.

Exercises in Threesome

According to the BBC, writing down three things that make you happy every day will make you a happier person. Here are a few things that make me happy:
-Money
-Mermaids
-Wu Tang Clan
I do not feel any happier as of yet. Let' s try something else. Unhappy things:
-Bad breath
-Decapitation
-Fish frozen in a pond
I feel happier that these unhappy things are easy to avoid or ignore. I don't think this exercise is suitable for Americans. Better luck next time BBC.

Survival Skills

What do you do in a rock slide? Two possible scenarios that you may so choose to carry out if you find yourself in the path of a deadly rock slide.
Here's what I do: watch it fall for a while, waiting for it to stop. Get out of bed and start pacing like a nervous chicken when it doesn't stop. Start panicking and seek shelter.
Here's what Zara does: Stays in bed, asks me to get into bed with her.
Way to be a gangster, Zara. But you don't have to wait for a natural disaster to make your move... *wink wink*

I don't know, I just wanted to see an owl in some underwear

Hijinks ensue.

Shakira summons the yeti.

Oh honey, you tore up this napkin trying to get it out? Let me show you how it is done. You just have to pull it out niiiice and sloooww... *tear* *rip* tear*... Ok, maybe there are too many napkins in there.

Drunk cat says, "Mrow mrrow mrow mrooooow.... mroww mrrrrowww MMROWWW!!"

Anyone can have a blog. Even me. Even Laura. So we got one. And it is AWESOME. You probably noticed. Anyway. We're making a calendar, so be on the lookout for the Ladies of the Sport Shop 2009 Calendar. Also, if you have any ideas for the calendar, we still have 3 months undecided!!!

Pretty much we like laughing. And standing uncomfortably close. And talking in whispers. Eating lettuce with pudding. Laura really likes milk cows and is looking out for them. She also likes ducks more than is probably normal for most humans.

We are also amateur comicians. We write the best comics, and then lose them. Make plans to check out our future features, including the First Stick Figure African American Sailboat Captain, as well as Zen vs. Hobo.

We also like hot sauces, various. We're going to be roommates 4 eva. We're having out roommate commitment vow ceremonies soon. Roommate pride! Support equal rights for roommates!

That's all for now, but expect more, SOON!

-zara