Not to be making death threats by any means, but I am rapidly losing faith in my capacity to tolerate anyone right now. Is customer service the worst job ever? It's the worst and only type of job I have ever had so my assumption is YES! Additionally, why are we not allowed to be rude to children? Specifically as children posses next to no social niceties and manners, why can we not strike the little buggars with our own words of aggression? I ought to think that a stranger lashing out at them may have a more everlasting effect than that of their pillowy soft parents.
Alack alack alack.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Woke up in something of a funk this morning. Could have been the bottle and a half of wine I drank last night. Could have been a lot of things though. You know those evenings when someone comes over and says, "I don't want to get trashed tonight" or as the case may be in this situation, "I don't want to go buckwild." That little preface to the evening never quite ends the way it's supposed to. Needless to say, I drank one and a half bottles of wine, being lucky to have stopped there and my accomplice drank his whole pint of whiskey. Oh yes, we have done far worse but we are never thanking ourselves the next day.
Upon waking I proceeded to down every bit of liquid within my vicinty, a half carton of orange juice and twenty ounces of water. It was delicious. Which is why I think that I have minimum to no hangover today. Hooray! Accomplice did not fair so well. Poor fella.
Why all the drinking other than you know, just another day? HSU sent me an official congratulatory letter saying they want my studious brain at their school in the fall! Woot. I mean, not a major accomplishment or anything, but having a path to be on feels really good for a change. A little bit frightening. I don't know how well I will fair as a poor person, but the idea I suppose is that I will be poor for a little while to supplement my education which in return will make me RICH! Maybe not rich, but I will at least be doing something I enjoy for a salary eventually instead of standing in front of a computer all day and pissing myself off wondering why every person that enters the sport shop is in one way or another brain dead. Oh my god, to not work with the general public would be the greatest reward for the poverty that I am going to endure. In the meantime, I am going to be making the absolute most of not being in poverty and load up on all the shit that is going to have to carry me for the next two years, including vacation, the last of which I will be taking for years to come.
Hesitation rears its head indeed, but I know that this is the right thing to do. Thumbs up!
Upon waking I proceeded to down every bit of liquid within my vicinty, a half carton of orange juice and twenty ounces of water. It was delicious. Which is why I think that I have minimum to no hangover today. Hooray! Accomplice did not fair so well. Poor fella.
Why all the drinking other than you know, just another day? HSU sent me an official congratulatory letter saying they want my studious brain at their school in the fall! Woot. I mean, not a major accomplishment or anything, but having a path to be on feels really good for a change. A little bit frightening. I don't know how well I will fair as a poor person, but the idea I suppose is that I will be poor for a little while to supplement my education which in return will make me RICH! Maybe not rich, but I will at least be doing something I enjoy for a salary eventually instead of standing in front of a computer all day and pissing myself off wondering why every person that enters the sport shop is in one way or another brain dead. Oh my god, to not work with the general public would be the greatest reward for the poverty that I am going to endure. In the meantime, I am going to be making the absolute most of not being in poverty and load up on all the shit that is going to have to carry me for the next two years, including vacation, the last of which I will be taking for years to come.
Hesitation rears its head indeed, but I know that this is the right thing to do. Thumbs up!
Monday, September 21, 2009
I don't know why I detest Dave Matthews so much. He seems like a culturally sensitive person. I suppose I just really really hate his music and for that look for any fault he may posses. I'm sorry, Dave Matthews.
Only had to work three days this week before my three day weekend. I always think I want to be on my weekend until I get there and realize that everyone I know is working for 10 or more hours a day and won't be able to hang out. I sit around restlessly waiting for someone to get off work only to realize that they have indeed been working around people all day and probably need some alone time. Thus I sit even more restlessly for another two hours or so to make sure everyone has unwound to some extent. I then I go out to socialize pretending to have been busy all day with various activities and hobbies, when really I'm just desperate for the conversation. I hope I don't seem too anxious during this time. I try to keep the drooling and buggy eyes to a minimum.
Anyway, I have a weekend tomorrow and should probably plan accordingly for it. Netflix: check. Book: check. Internet activity time: check. Exercise: hopeful check.
Zara seems to be thoroughly enjoying her time in Africa thus far. Don't tell her but I have been researching items to include in a care package for her. Such simple items such as gatorade mix, hard candy, toothpaste, etc. Africa. Weird place.
Only had to work three days this week before my three day weekend. I always think I want to be on my weekend until I get there and realize that everyone I know is working for 10 or more hours a day and won't be able to hang out. I sit around restlessly waiting for someone to get off work only to realize that they have indeed been working around people all day and probably need some alone time. Thus I sit even more restlessly for another two hours or so to make sure everyone has unwound to some extent. I then I go out to socialize pretending to have been busy all day with various activities and hobbies, when really I'm just desperate for the conversation. I hope I don't seem too anxious during this time. I try to keep the drooling and buggy eyes to a minimum.
Anyway, I have a weekend tomorrow and should probably plan accordingly for it. Netflix: check. Book: check. Internet activity time: check. Exercise: hopeful check.
Zara seems to be thoroughly enjoying her time in Africa thus far. Don't tell her but I have been researching items to include in a care package for her. Such simple items such as gatorade mix, hard candy, toothpaste, etc. Africa. Weird place.
Monday, September 14, 2009
That Special Time
It is beginning to look a little bit like Autumn in Yosemite. I'm aware that it is a bit preemptive for the moment. The sky is overcast and the air is cool, but it will be getting back up into the mid 90's before the week is out. Nonetheless, I am thoroughly enjoying today's weather. I have already indulged in a cup of hot soup. I mean, it was hot until the morons in my shop took away my precious eating time with their endless stream of idiotic questions and concerns. Two hours later, my soup was cold. Still ate it and still enjoyed the the ominous autumn glow from outside.
So , the last three days have been a great part of the week from hell on the job. The executives decided this year that the employee appreciation sale would be held from 7pm-11pm at both the sport and mountain shops. Everything in the store at 50% off or more. So in addition to having to get up at 8am only to work through until 11:30pm, I had the pleasure of staging the damn shop and trying to work around a million people clambering about like their tits were about to fall off. It actually wasn't as bad as all of that. We worked split days and the stores were only busy for like an hour, it was just tiring. I haven't had enough sleep this week and have been working many hours. Also somehow haven't managed to shower for like the last four days or so. I don't know how that one happened. I can tell you what I'm planning to do after work today! Warshing my ass out.
Zara is gone. Gone for what will seem like forever. I miss the companionship. Sort of like when you break up with someone and you have to learn how to be solely dependent on yourself again. I don't have anyone to unwind with after work anymore. The plus side is that I can sleep whenever I want or stay up as late as I wish. But that's not much of reward when you are as desperately lonely as I am. Baby's first day without Zara.
So , the last three days have been a great part of the week from hell on the job. The executives decided this year that the employee appreciation sale would be held from 7pm-11pm at both the sport and mountain shops. Everything in the store at 50% off or more. So in addition to having to get up at 8am only to work through until 11:30pm, I had the pleasure of staging the damn shop and trying to work around a million people clambering about like their tits were about to fall off. It actually wasn't as bad as all of that. We worked split days and the stores were only busy for like an hour, it was just tiring. I haven't had enough sleep this week and have been working many hours. Also somehow haven't managed to shower for like the last four days or so. I don't know how that one happened. I can tell you what I'm planning to do after work today! Warshing my ass out.
Zara is gone. Gone for what will seem like forever. I miss the companionship. Sort of like when you break up with someone and you have to learn how to be solely dependent on yourself again. I don't have anyone to unwind with after work anymore. The plus side is that I can sleep whenever I want or stay up as late as I wish. But that's not much of reward when you are as desperately lonely as I am. Baby's first day without Zara.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Big Changes A-Comin
In light of recent events (ie: Zara making it into the peace corps Cameroon and hosting too many blogs for her own good) I have come the important task of deciding the fate of "Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica." Since I am far too lazy to create my own blog, I will be assuming sole ownership over this current blog. I know this news matters little to the world at large as no one has ever read this blog aside from Zara, myself, and Trish Mestemaker. I have a feeling however, that the planet will soon learn the error of it's ways. Naturally kidding. One thing that does bother me is undeserved cockiness, and also just cockiness in general. On a side note, it's probably not the worst thing that no one ever reads this blog as it hasn't been updated in close to four or five months. Guess we've all been feeling a bit uninspired.
Or entirely too drunk and hungover on a daily basis to give two snits about updating.
That being said, welcome to Laura's blog. Inspiration lurks around every corner. Also, congratulations to Zara, big timey! Even if it means the demise of her presence on our blog. You can find her these days on cameroonzara.blogspot.com
Hopefully I'll be able to fill the legacy of two hilarious women compressed to one moderately silly broad. There will be a couple of small changes. For one thing, there will be tons more bitching and complaining. It's much easier to do now that I don't have to worry about tarnishing Zara's image. Secondly, I think there will be a more visual approach to the blog from here on out. No nudies until I can mentally mature another 10-15 years. Or unless I happen to run across drunken nudies at Outside Lands. Stay tuned and well groomed.
Or entirely too drunk and hungover on a daily basis to give two snits about updating.
That being said, welcome to Laura's blog. Inspiration lurks around every corner. Also, congratulations to Zara, big timey! Even if it means the demise of her presence on our blog. You can find her these days on cameroonzara.blogspot.com
Hopefully I'll be able to fill the legacy of two hilarious women compressed to one moderately silly broad. There will be a couple of small changes. For one thing, there will be tons more bitching and complaining. It's much easier to do now that I don't have to worry about tarnishing Zara's image. Secondly, I think there will be a more visual approach to the blog from here on out. No nudies until I can mentally mature another 10-15 years. Or unless I happen to run across drunken nudies at Outside Lands. Stay tuned and well groomed.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Boffer strike to gut!
So I'm in the meat shop the other day when a man walks in and starts admiring my display of...meat.
"You thinking about buying some steak?" I ask.
"No." He replies, "I'm going to to buy some steak. I'm thinking about poon tang!"
Yessss.
"You thinking about buying some steak?" I ask.
"No." He replies, "I'm going to to buy some steak. I'm thinking about poon tang!"
Yessss.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Drunk Cat
Some time ago on a surprisingly sober intuition, drunk cat appeared. I see drunk cat as the stuff of legend if his popularity could ever get off the ground.
He's a drunk CAT! Imagine how many directions that could take.
He's a drunk CAT! Imagine how many directions that could take.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Today marks my campaign against all things tall (no offense to Paul and Zara). Tall objects drop things on you. Ever since moving to Yosemite, I have noticed a trend of objects dropping from above with great force causing me to shout explitives in all directuions. Most often than not, the object hits nothing important (ie:head), but the astonishing truth is that this series of events offer up a ghastly warning from the greater gods of above. Tall gods that hate all things shorter than them. Punk asses.
A pinecone forced to reckon with gravitational force meets an unhealthy match with the ground. The ground is tough though. While the pinecone smashes on the ground, your head will surely suffer a more unfortunate fate. Some of those pinecones are pretty big, nevermind entire falling branches, but those come with a bit more warning: *CRACK* *THUD*
Sometimes objects from above offer more catastrophic results. Never forget awakening at 7am last October to watch the side of a mountain crashing down on Curry Village. Yikes.
Right now the gods of tall are having a bit too much fun at unsuspecting passerby's expense. After three days of snow and accumulation on branches of tall trees, the sun has come out to create a melting effect to which, without warning, an enormous quantity of water and ice plunge from the branches and onto innocent civillians, soaking them in icy coldness from head to toe.
I for one am not amused.
I mean I was until I became a victim an hour ago.
Join my fight for the leveling of tall objects everywhere. With a little luck and perseverence, we'll need only worry about man-eating sinkholes in the near future.
-LJ out
A pinecone forced to reckon with gravitational force meets an unhealthy match with the ground. The ground is tough though. While the pinecone smashes on the ground, your head will surely suffer a more unfortunate fate. Some of those pinecones are pretty big, nevermind entire falling branches, but those come with a bit more warning: *CRACK* *THUD*
Sometimes objects from above offer more catastrophic results. Never forget awakening at 7am last October to watch the side of a mountain crashing down on Curry Village. Yikes.
Right now the gods of tall are having a bit too much fun at unsuspecting passerby's expense. After three days of snow and accumulation on branches of tall trees, the sun has come out to create a melting effect to which, without warning, an enormous quantity of water and ice plunge from the branches and onto innocent civillians, soaking them in icy coldness from head to toe.
I for one am not amused.
I mean I was until I became a victim an hour ago.
Join my fight for the leveling of tall objects everywhere. With a little luck and perseverence, we'll need only worry about man-eating sinkholes in the near future.
-LJ out
Friday, February 13, 2009
I know that no one even reads this blog other than Zara and I but I still wanted to discuss how outrageously awesome my birthday was! I should say birthdays (multiple) actually because I did have two. Awesome things:
-The presents Zara gave me-Persepolis, checkered shoes, and beautiful earrings for when I hit 10 guage (it'll be a while before I can wear them)
-The delicious vegan cake that Zara made for me
-The dinner that Zara took me to
-Zara, naked and covered in margarine
-Big bottle of Tequila from Anthony (yikes!)
-Many happy birthday wishes from people I love a lot
-The delicious dinner that we all made last night with my favorite foods-naan, chana daal, wilted greens, polenta, and israeli couscous. Out of control with the flavor.
-My birthday shopping spree and the purchase of the best vegan boots ever!!
Anyway, just wanted to recap the event. It was really super fantastic and I appreciated every bit of it.
-The presents Zara gave me-Persepolis, checkered shoes, and beautiful earrings for when I hit 10 guage (it'll be a while before I can wear them)
-The delicious vegan cake that Zara made for me
-The dinner that Zara took me to
-Zara, naked and covered in margarine
-Big bottle of Tequila from Anthony (yikes!)
-Many happy birthday wishes from people I love a lot
-The delicious dinner that we all made last night with my favorite foods-naan, chana daal, wilted greens, polenta, and israeli couscous. Out of control with the flavor.
-My birthday shopping spree and the purchase of the best vegan boots ever!!
Anyway, just wanted to recap the event. It was really super fantastic and I appreciated every bit of it.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Sad story this Thursday morning. The boss-type and visual merchandising lady came in to look over the store and see what improvements needed to be done. Basically it's an opportunity for them to come in and make me feel lousy because the store looks so god-awful and there is no one to blame it on because there are only two people that work here and another two that come in daily to make purchases.
The store becomes a sanctuary for bugs during the winter. It's too cold for them outside and as long as they stay in their respective corner I have no problem sharing space with them. However, when the bosses come in and see all the bugs that have taken up residence they tell me that I need to rid of them promptly. I hate killing bugs. I don't know how to tell them that it's not that I'm lazy, which I most certainly am, but I do really have a problem killing the little buggars. So I have had to displace a dozen or so spiders this morning. I suppose a job is more important than them having to rebuild their home in a different dark corner (to me). I try to shoo them to the back, but the store front is really the ideal location. I don't blame them. As long as they're down with the hurrican Laura disaster that ruins their home every three months.
Supper tonight with McCray and Zara in the lakes kitchen. Should be tasty times for all. Also, Celtics vs. Lakers in Boston! Word.
-LJ out
The store becomes a sanctuary for bugs during the winter. It's too cold for them outside and as long as they stay in their respective corner I have no problem sharing space with them. However, when the bosses come in and see all the bugs that have taken up residence they tell me that I need to rid of them promptly. I hate killing bugs. I don't know how to tell them that it's not that I'm lazy, which I most certainly am, but I do really have a problem killing the little buggars. So I have had to displace a dozen or so spiders this morning. I suppose a job is more important than them having to rebuild their home in a different dark corner (to me). I try to shoo them to the back, but the store front is really the ideal location. I don't blame them. As long as they're down with the hurrican Laura disaster that ruins their home every three months.
Supper tonight with McCray and Zara in the lakes kitchen. Should be tasty times for all. Also, Celtics vs. Lakers in Boston! Word.
-LJ out
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Probably the best thing that I have heard of in some time is the news of this marquee construction sign in Texas that was hacked in to yesterday and the message changed to:
"Zombies in area. Run for your lives!"
Sometimes I wonder why I read the news and then something like this happens and I remember again. The audacity of those punks. I would probably literally kiss the dirty stinky feet of the person that did this. I don't know why, but that made me feel so happy. I think because right before I read about it, I read about the second slaying of an entire family this week. I can't believe what is going on in this country right now. Deadly ice storms, murder suicides, unemployment. It's all so devastating, and it stresses the hell out of me. I'll tell you what.
Ahhhhh!!! Zombies in area!!! Thank you sign hacker. I needed that.
"Zombies in area. Run for your lives!"
Sometimes I wonder why I read the news and then something like this happens and I remember again. The audacity of those punks. I would probably literally kiss the dirty stinky feet of the person that did this. I don't know why, but that made me feel so happy. I think because right before I read about it, I read about the second slaying of an entire family this week. I can't believe what is going on in this country right now. Deadly ice storms, murder suicides, unemployment. It's all so devastating, and it stresses the hell out of me. I'll tell you what.
Ahhhhh!!! Zombies in area!!! Thank you sign hacker. I needed that.
Friday, January 23, 2009
I was talking to my brother last night (his birthday, imagine my luck having called him!) and after mistaking his age of 28 for 27, I realized that in just short of three weeks, I will be 24. As far as my brother's current age is concerned, I believe he is well ahead of many 28 year olds I know. He is engaged, moving in to a nice house next month, good job, planning readily for the future of kids and an excessively rambunctious dog. I on the other hand am undecided on how qualified I feel to be 24 . This is where Yosemite has led me astray on so many levels. The suspension of reality and what life is like beyond these walls. I mean, I eat chili straight out the can and wear cut off jeans! Out there, people are living paycheck to paycheck. And despite this they are still getting married and spawning at increasingly rapid rates. Yikes.
In here if I wake up one day and want to but a jetski, I can do just that! I can take my savings and dump it on some useless piece of plastic motorized brouhaha and continue to live my life with little to no reprecussions. Except that I would own a rediculous jetski.
Here is what I have to offer twenty four years of life spent on this planet:
-The ability to quote every Judd Apatow film and the entire Freaks and Geeks series with little error
-A small collection of home made comics starring an African American Stick Figure Sail Boat Captain
-Ability to recite the Greek Alphabet, the Preamble, and in Hebrew the "Rubber Duckie" song
-Underwear drawer dividers (patent pending)
-A winning smile
Not qualified for 24? Self inventory of useful strengths denotes overqualified!
In your face, space coyote.
-LJ out
In here if I wake up one day and want to but a jetski, I can do just that! I can take my savings and dump it on some useless piece of plastic motorized brouhaha and continue to live my life with little to no reprecussions. Except that I would own a rediculous jetski.
Here is what I have to offer twenty four years of life spent on this planet:
-The ability to quote every Judd Apatow film and the entire Freaks and Geeks series with little error
-A small collection of home made comics starring an African American Stick Figure Sail Boat Captain
-Ability to recite the Greek Alphabet, the Preamble, and in Hebrew the "Rubber Duckie" song
-Underwear drawer dividers (patent pending)
-A winning smile
Not qualified for 24? Self inventory of useful strengths denotes overqualified!
In your face, space coyote.
-LJ out
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Even Cowgirls get the Poos
Zara has left for ten days leaving me ten days to fend for myself in this blustery wasteland. She had to go see the new baby, which I suspect is what her witness protection advisor told her to use as an excuse to "get the hell out of dodge for a few days." E-mail interception my friends. Learn it well. I am on to you, Sykes!
Currently, I am at work and have made two sales. The day is more than half over, and I still need to close the store for a thirty minute lunch period. Profit is looking bleak for this wet Thursday afternoon. I don't think I have ever had such a lonely job.
Times like these I can most relate to an over-zealous dog that gets left behind a lot. Glances at the door often with quiet anticipation. Ears perk at the slightest indication of life outside. Licks and jumps (and sometimes pees) all over people when they walk in.
-Lonely
-Unwanted
-Randy Quaid.
Currently, I am at work and have made two sales. The day is more than half over, and I still need to close the store for a thirty minute lunch period. Profit is looking bleak for this wet Thursday afternoon. I don't think I have ever had such a lonely job.
Times like these I can most relate to an over-zealous dog that gets left behind a lot. Glances at the door often with quiet anticipation. Ears perk at the slightest indication of life outside. Licks and jumps (and sometimes pees) all over people when they walk in.
-Lonely
-Unwanted
-Randy Quaid.
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